Sunday, January 27, 2013

Top 10 Ways Mothers and Fathers Go Out of Town Differently

(Note: This may not be true in all households, it's grossly generalized, but it's certainly true in most of the ones I know of!)

10. Weeks, possibly months before the trip, Mom will arrange child care

 9.  A good two weeks before the trip Mom will start making notes for said child care provider

 8.  Mom will add to the notes to such a point that they will cover the fronts and backs of five 8 1/2 x 11 pieces of paper

 7. Mom will grocery shop and stock up on all the things one could possibly ever consider eating while she's out-of-town

 6. Mom will load up the frozen yogurt and Burgerville gift cards, and leave a huge wad of cash so that every possibly spending concern is covered

 5. Mom will order an additional insurance card so one may be left behind - just in case

 4. Mom will type emergency numbers, lists of foods toxic to dogs, and notes to all the teachers informing them of the schedule

 3. Mom will pull out the suitcase and start packing days ahead of time, then wash all the clothes in the laundry room so that everything is available for packing, and wearing by child/ren left behind

 2. Mom will clean, clean, clean then clean the house some more. Plants will be watered, beds will be changed, lights that haven't been dusted in years will be dusted. Slip covers will be washed, so will the throw rugs. New flowers will be planted in the window box. The house will look just so. Mom will nearly kill herself in the endeavor, but sleep well at night.

 1. The night before the big trip Dad will say, "Do you know where we keep the suitcases?" "Are you planning to do any laundry, because I have a bunch of things I need to take with me." "What should I read on the plane?"


Anonymous said...

Too true and too funny. Have a wonderful trip.

kario said...

And this is why, once you get to Hawaii, you should do absolutely nothing but enjoy yourself. Let yourself be driven around, fed, drinks fetched for you, and sunscreen applied without even having to ask.

Have a ball! This is precisely how it goes in our house, too.

Elizabeth said...

I believe some of the biggest fights I've had with The Husband is over this exact thing. I'll be freaking out, and he says, "Relax. I'll just throw my things in a bag and we'll go."

Anonymous said...

This is sooo true! Love it!

Amber said...

I would laugh.


Tanya Savko said...

I love this! Sad that it's so true!

Alicia D said...

LOL - SOOOOO true! This is very relatable for me as I my husband and I are going out of town for 5 days over the valentines weekend without kids! This exact version of your blog will be acted out in its entirety for SURE haha!

Ah, men...