Tuesday, March 8, 2011
For years and years I dreamed of becoming a bestselling author. Wasn't enough to be a writer with an audience, no, I needed, wanted and worked towards being a bestselling author. Through that quest I met a handful of bestselling authors which, at the time, did nothing to take the shine off that dream. That was what I wanted, that was the goal, that was the be all end all and anything less was not worth pursuing.
The dream has changed. The purpose of writing has changed. The subject of the writing has changed. Everything has changed. Now I have a "new manuscript", which must remain in quotes as much of the work is not new but re-worked, and to call the collection of pages a "manuscript" is taking liberties. Be that as it may, I have a body of work and I am committed to "finishing" it, however that looks and whatever that means. It is enough that I finish it. It is enough that I put it in a drawer and twenty years from now Woohoo reads it and it helps her gain perspective. It is enough if five of my closest friends read it just to make me happy.
It no longer needs to sell. It no longer needs to make me a nickel. It definitely doesn't need to make me rich and I've decided famous is a curse, not a blessing.
And it most definitely does not need to be the best of anything. Not my best work. Not the best writing in the world. Not a demonstration of what I've learned or been told makes writing go from good to best. Just good enough.
We are about to embark on the season of Lent - 40 days of reflection and "fasting" before Easter. After much consideration I have decided to give up blogging for 40+ days. I will not post and I will not read blogs. Instead, I will use that time to take my "new manuscript" and "finish" it. I will take it from the stage it is in now and do either very little or very much to alter it, I haven't decided yet. What I have decided is that I need more time to decide about all that, time I am not currently devoting to that. I want to leisurely read through it and quiet myself enough to hear what it is that remains to be said on the page, hear what needs to be removed, and hear what is good enough.
See you in about 40 days.