For years and years I dreamed of becoming a bestselling author. Wasn't enough to be a writer with an audience, no, I needed, wanted and worked towards being a bestselling author. Through that quest I met a handful of bestselling authors which, at the time, did nothing to take the shine off that dream. That was what I wanted, that was the goal, that was the be all end all and anything less was not worth pursuing.
The dream has changed. The purpose of writing has changed. The subject of the writing has changed. Everything has changed. Now I have a "new manuscript", which must remain in quotes as much of the work is not new but re-worked, and to call the collection of pages a "manuscript" is taking liberties. Be that as it may, I have a body of work and I am committed to "finishing" it, however that looks and whatever that means. It is enough that I finish it. It is enough that I put it in a drawer and twenty years from now Woohoo reads it and it helps her gain perspective. It is enough if five of my closest friends read it just to make me happy.
It no longer needs to sell. It no longer needs to make me a nickel. It definitely doesn't need to make me rich and I've decided famous is a curse, not a blessing.
And it most definitely does not need to be the best of anything. Not my best work. Not the best writing in the world. Not a demonstration of what I've learned or been told makes writing go from good to best. Just good enough.
We are about to embark on the season of Lent - 40 days of reflection and "fasting" before Easter. After much consideration I have decided to give up blogging for 40+ days. I will not post and I will not read blogs. Instead, I will use that time to take my "new manuscript" and "finish" it. I will take it from the stage it is in now and do either very little or very much to alter it, I haven't decided yet. What I have decided is that I need more time to decide about all that, time I am not currently devoting to that. I want to leisurely read through it and quiet myself enough to hear what it is that remains to be said on the page, hear what needs to be removed, and hear what is good enough.
See you in about 40 days.
Love.
19 comments:
Your blog title and the first few lines caught my attention because those words could have come out of my mouth, out of my brain, straight to your page.
I've been and am exactly where you are now after writing for 20+ years.
I'm in a reflecting mood, giving myself time to figure out where I'm going and where I've been.
Many many thanks for putting these particular thoughts on paper for me and others who are exactly where you/we are in our writing lives.
Blessings!
Love.
Love.
Love.
That first sentence, me too.
I'll miss you for Lent but admire you as well. All I'm thinking of giving up is Coke:)
Take care and see you in forty.
You are amazing. And I hope I get to be one of the friends who reads your manuscript (I still have the first one tucked away in a cherished spot).
As for not blogging for 40 days, I love how you challenge yourself every year for Lent, but you're going to have a lot to catch up on ;-).
Love.
I will miss you for the next 40 days.
I want to read it.
Good enough.
Love.
I spent a lot of time, recently, while helping A and her friend complete a big school project, saying "good enough." I figure it's a message we all need to hear on a regular basis.
And ditto Kario and Wanda. I will miss you, and I, too, would love to read that manuscript whenever it's ready to see the light of day.
And when you return, it will be fully spring.
xo
I will miss your blog during Lent. You are always an uplifting voice.
But, I understand the need to focus, for tunnel vision, in writing.
When you surrender completely, the angels come to assist. Blessings to you.
Perfect - or as perfect as it can get. Although, you will be MISSED. I will just have to tide myself over with the anticipation of getting to enjoy the fruits of these next 40 days.
xo Jen H.
Have a good Lent, full of reflection, writing and things that give you peace.
What a great idea. See you in 40 days. Good luck!
Blessings to you.
Ahhhh--good luck! See you soon --
Waaahhh--I'm SO going to miss my Carrie fix! Just think of the fun you'll have, though, after Easter, catching up!
Yep, that first sentence. Thank you, my friend, for finding the words for what I feel. May we all realize that who we are and what we do is definitely good enough. Love.
Good luck Carrie! You'll be missed :-)
You will probably accomplish a LOT during Lent. *laughs* Me, I was trying to decide between giving up alcohol or shoes ... alcohol or shoes ... I probably should have gone with coffee.
I just curled up in a big chair, imagining I was going to catch up on all the "Love" I've been missing--and here you are missing. How dare you put your needs first!!
I like it.
all of it.
luck love and more luck.
:)
wishing you all the best in this , Carrie.
I will think of you and miss you..
love.
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