Thursday, March 3, 2011


I have a friend going through the 12-Steps, and we were discussing the fourth step, which involves taking a searching, fearless moral inventory. I'll admit to having some baggage around the 12-Steps, but that is only because the people in my life that "did" them, didn't really "do" them, and well, that is just not that helpful. Nonetheless, this person is committed to doing them, and not enough can be made of any person wanting to better themselves and taking big steps and putting tremendous effort into doing so.

I recently went to the second part of my moral decision making class, which is part of a greater class that I am taking, classes to become Catholic, as it turns out. After a 48-year push-pull with Catholicism, I have decided to stop pulling, stop pushing, and let go. Letting go has led me to what was right in front of me all along, a community of which I am already a part and want to commit to remaining a part of. While learning and uncovering more about what makes us make decisions, I realized I was putting a lot of energy into making a non-decision.

Last night, after discussing "fearless moral inventories" with my friend, I dreamed I worked in a retail store and was assigned the job of inventory. I was counting and sorting all night long as I tossed and turned. I'm pretty sure a moral inventory is more than counting. I'm thinking it's quite literally, taking stock. What is there? Do you like what's there? What is missing? Why? Where did it go? How do you get it? Do you want it? Do you need it?

I'm thinking one does not need to be in a 12-step program to find benefit in taking a fearless and searching moral inventory. We're all recovering from something. We're all in one place moving towards something, and perhaps by taking stock, we can better define what that something is.

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kario said...

Ack! I'm not sure there is such a thing as a "fearless" moral inventory for me. Just the phrase "moral inventory" scares the sh*t out of me. Maybe I'll have to stop judging myself a little more before I can get there. Is that one of the first three steps?

Your courage never ceases to amaze me, my friend.

Tanya @ TeenAutism said...

"I realized I was putting a lot of energy into making a non-decision" - Story of my life lately! I definitely needed to read this today! xo

Elizabeth said...

Definitely --

I read a wonderful obituary yesterday of the monk at Gethsemani in Kentucky who was the great Catholic Thomas Merton's last confessor. This monk died yesterday, I think, at the age of 96 or so. He was an open, celibate gay man whose writings are GORGEOUS. I read about him on Krista Tippet's blog Being -- I'm sure that you could find it and know that you'd love to read it.

Wanda said...

...and I'm loving Richard Rohr's writings right now.

Deb Shucka said...

Mary smiles.

Amber said...

Um, you are so OBVISOULY a Catholic, you Mary lover. But a Mystic one. Which are the best ones, IMO...

I get it.

I'll have to write about a moment I had with G the other day.

You will get it.