STM just came home from a week of doing Cycle Oregon, a grueling 500 mile ride that takes place over seven days. Each night he camped in a tiny tent with a sleeping bag in 25 degree weather, got up, rode 80 some miles, rested, and did it all over again the next day.
Had a ball.
Went with two friends (a married couple), and met a lot of nice people along the way. Came home and said the sexiest words he's ever said to me, "Riding 80 miles a day is a piece of cake compared to being the one that stayed here and ran the show for a week."
It's quite a show we run, and it has us both, well, running. I know many of you blog readers know all about running the special needs show, but raising all kids is complicated and exhausting, period.
STM's friends talked about their kids, two active almost teenagers. The parents both work full-time and between all the kids' after-school activities it's 8:30 or 9:00 before they all sit down to eat dinner. STM learned a lot about their day-to-day life over the course of the week. I asked if he shared much about our life. He said no.
"They don't know what to ask," he said, "and I didn't want to tell them more than they want to know. Unless you live it, it's really hard to get."
And I get that.
I will say this to you parents of only typicals, however, it's okay to ask us about our lives. We can always tell the difference between genuine interest and idle curiosity. It's okay if you bumble around and say the "wrong" thing, we appreciate you wanting to know. You see, that allows us to talk about the elephants in our head, the one thing that takes up most of our thoughts, time and energy. To not ask us about that will cut you off from who we are. You will only know a tiny fraction of us if you don't know about what it's like to raise our special children.
We thank you for trying to be sensitive. We appreciate that you don't want to say the wrong thing. We appreciate that you don't want to make us talk about something that we don't want to talk about, but we do want to talk about it. And if you will let us, you will then, and only then, know us.