Sunday, February 6, 2011
"No," she answered, "and I'll tell you why we didn't work and why we'll never work, we don't have empathy for each other." She was quick to own her own part in all this. "I think for a relationship to work you need to not only admit you've hurt each other, but to understand what that must feel like to the person. We don't."
I think she's on to something, and the more I think about it, it's not just having empathy for the ways we've hurt each other, which is big, but just blanket empathy, what it must be like to be the other person on any given day. To truly put ourselves in their bodies, their minds, their psyches, their souls, their beings.
I can think of lots of relationships I've lived through, with, in and around and there are lots of causes of death, certainly, but lack of empathy has to be a common one, and perhaps the most reconcilable of all differences.
* photo from http://philosophy.fullerton.edu