Wednesday, January 11, 2012
We did get Rojo an iPad for Christmas, and a friend of mine with one mentioned that solitaire was highly addicting, so, naturally, within ten minutes of her telling me that, I'd loaded that app and was well on my way to developing a problem.
You can play a game in 2-3 minutes, so easy to say, "Oh, just one more..." until pretty soon you've pissed away an hour or three. There must be something about the game that occupies the right hemisphere of the brain, allowing the left brain to be free to roam. I find myself getting almost trance-like while playing, deeply relaxed and reflective, rather than obsessive. Let's just say it's working for me - that's my story and I'm sticking with it.
My dad taught me how to play solitaire (and other card games). He had such a sharp mind, could always see and explain strategy, was always three steps ahead of me. I realize now, at almost 50, how exasperating I must have been for him - not as quick, not as ambitious, not as competitive, no matter how hard he tried to get me to be. When I finally made up my mind about where I was going to go to college and told him, he was underwhelmed. When I finally decided in my sophomore year I'd be a teacher, again, underwhelmed. I always felt like he was disappointed, that the bar was too high for me, that nothing I did made him happy.
During my hours of solitaire, I've been able to see it a different way. As a woman now with a daughter choosing between the very college I went to and one that's "better," I see how a parent could feel the way he did. No matter what she chooses she'll be fine, and I will not be disappointed, she can and does make me happy, and I hope she feels she clears the bar every day, all day long. It's just that I think she's great, and is headed for greatness, and want greatness for her. But what is "greatness?"
Although I am a long way away from being the doctor my father hoped I'd be, don't have an impressive resume, haven't done a lot that the world might call "great," my life has been, and is, indeed, great. I know that if my father were here he'd agree. I am happy. I have ALL my needs and damn near all my wants met. I have tons of people that love and care for me. I have laughter, I have health, I have, by all definitions that count, greatness.
I'd say the iPad has already paid for itself.