Monday, January 23, 2012
Blame the Planets
There's a reason my blog posting has been spotty at best, and there's a reason there's not much I can do about it. The reason is this: my writing planets are all out of whack. STM and I went for our annual check-in with our friend the astrologer, and she said it was all right there on my charts. "This is not a time for writing. In fact, do you want to know when you're going to feel like writing again?" Of course I did, and the answer was right there in her handy dandy book, "September 19th. Until then, only write when the mood strikes you, and that might not be before September, and that's fine. There's just no wind behind that sail until then."
And that's just exactly what it feels like to me, like there is just an occasional breeze, but no wind there. Problem is, there's not much breeze, let alone wind, behind anything lately for me. Apparently all that was on the chart, too. "It's a period of rest for you. I know that's a four-letter word, but it's important that you take this time and do just that."
In the seventeen-and-a-half years I've been a parent, this is the first time I'm not racing through my days and nights breathless, racing to get it all done. This is the first time my days have had windows of time where I sit in the over-sized chair with Flicka and play solitaire on Rojo's iPad, or read a book, or take a nap. This is the first time I've sat with STM in the living room at night and watched whatever it is he's watching on TV (you don't even want to know).
I told the astrologer that I felt like I should find something more useful to do with my time, volunteer, start a project, plan for Rojo's transition to adulthood, something. She said that there was a force equally strong in my chart that wanted to learn new things, not for a degree or even for a career, but just for the pleasure of learning. Right now I can't imagine having the brain capacity to learn a single thing, and nothing even sounds fun or exciting, but the idea that something might sound fun and exciting after this period of rest, is fun and exciting.
"The back 9," these years I'm entering where I'm getting closer to the "club house," I believe will be the best and most fulfilling of my life. There is no end of possibilities, but for now, I rest.
* Photo from www.awakening-healing.com