Monday, August 2, 2010
The Miss List
The funeral is over.
Most of the out-of-town guests have left. Reality is setting in.
It's Monday morning and over coffee Emily and I start making a list of who needs to be contacted, the order in which to do that, the papers we need to locate, on and on. Overwhelming.
She goes to her computer to investigate Social Security benefits. Finds out she needs a marriage certificate. Doesn't have one. Did at one time, no idea where it is now. Goes online to order one, one To Do turns into ten sub To Dos. Overwhelming.
I'm emptying the dishwasher, trying to be helpful, nearby without hovering, available but not insensitive. "You know," she says, looking up from the computer"we were married 22 years. We had a good life. There are going to be so many things I miss about him. Sure, there were things that drove me crazy, but what I'm going to miss is so much bigger. Put that on your blog. Make your friends start a list of what they would miss about their spouses. Tell them to focus on those things, instead."
I started a list.
* Photo from: http://www.socialsecurityinsider.com