Saturday, August 7, 2010

Top 10 Things Not to Do While Wearing a Little Black Dress (And don't ask me how I know.)

10. Get on a step stool and attempt to swipe cobwebs off the ceiling

9. Take the screen off your stove venting system and degrease it

8. Dodge the resulting icky rolls of grease and grime that fall from said venting system

7. Take all the burners off your stove and clean them, too, long as you're there

6. Throw ten million greasy gross paper towels in the garbage can under the sink, and notice how nasty that area is

5. Take everything out from under the sink and put it on the freshly washed kitchen rug

4. Windex the hell out of the under sink area

3. Swear and throw a mini tantrum when you see how far off everyone in your family but you is, when throwing stuff in the garbage

2. Marvel at how quickly fruit spoils and grows fuzz when it lands not in the garbage can, but directly behind

1. Give your family a cleanliness lecture while covered in dust, grease, moldy fruit and Windex


Elizabeth said...

It sounds like "welcome home" and hitting the ground running!

kario said...

I can think of something to do while wearing a little black dress:
Parade slowly past your husband and children, smiling as they compliment you on how lovely you look.

Wanda said...

Were you also wearing a string of pearls?

jess said...

funny, i could write almost the exact same post, but it's titled ten things not to do naked. go figure.

Anonymous said...

Carrie - It must have been one heck of a weekend at your house. JP

Deb Shucka said...

Reentry's a bitch, isn't it?

Tanya @ TeenAutism said...

Was bleach involved? Because anytime I ever try to do anything involving bleach, I'm always wearing black. xoxo