Sunday, July 25, 2010

All Planned Out


10,000 miles up in the air, flying high with a friend, off an adventure we’ve planned for months, down to the slightest detail. We’ve had lists we’ve created, crossed off and double checked with each other. A long layover in Minneapolis has been coordinated with my agent for a dinner we’ve got dialed down to the minute. We’ve confirmed flights, hotels, cabs, you name it.

We’ve thought of everything.

What we didn’t have on our list was one of my closest cousin’s husband, dying at age 46, leaving her a widow at 44, the mother of a 10, 12 and 15-year-old.

Didn’t plan for me to be only 236 miles away in Iowa from their home near Chicago.

Didn’t plan for me to be on vacation while someone I love watches her life change in a single moment.

Didn’t plan on being so close yet so far.

Didn’t plan on changing my plans to drive from Iowa City on Thursday to be in Chicago in time for the funeral on Friday.

Didn’t plan to extend my stay and see if I can help.

Didn’t plan for others to be there at the beginning, not needing me until later, when I can easily be there.

Didn’t plan on Thursday being later.

Didn’t plan on being so thankful I can be where I need to be, when I need to be there.

Couldn’t have planned that.


* Photo from http://margosawyer.com

12 comments:

Jess said...

No

F'king

Accidents

I'm so sorry for your cousin's tragic loss.

I KNOW you will be a tremendous comfort to her and her family.

Yes, it was all planned out.

All along.

Love.

Lilith said...

I'm sorry for your cousin's loss Carrie but thankful that things turned out the way they did, that you could be there for her. Take care.

just one foot said...

I am sure you being there was a gift that she will remember for the rest of her life. I'm not kidding..the rest of her life. Isn't it nice to think you've been there when you needed to be?
Tears in my eyes, thankful that the widow is not me, but so very sorry for your cousin's wife. My thoughts are with you all.

Lola said...

chills right now
my sympathies also

Deb Shucka said...

No accidents. In so many ways. Love.

Jenny said...

Thinking of you, Carrie.

Tanya @ TeenAutism said...

I am so sorry to hear of this. But you could be there. Love.

Amber said...

Oh, I am so, so sorry for your cousin's loss. :( Man, ohh man. I can only imagine. I'll be praying for the family.

You are so loving.

;)

Pie Maker said...

I love that you listen! I'm sorry for your (and your cousin's) loss but thrilled for your opportunity to show up and ask "how can I help?". That's a powerful gift.

deb said...

oh , Carrie.

sending love.
you humble me.

prayers for your cousin and her children.

kario said...

Love those moments we can't plan. Just a reminder that we are never really in control.

Love to all.

Ask Me Anything said...

Wow Care. I'm so sad/happy for/with you.