Wednesday, October 17, 2012

The Ex Factor

Bear with me, I am typing this on Roho's iPad, and I am a far cry from proficient with the "keyboard." Just had to share with you that last night STM and I went to an Estate Planning/Special Needs Trust info. thingy. A law firm and bank were presenting, and it was very informative, very comprehensive, and very overwhelming, despite the fact I knew a lot of the information already. We thought for sure we'd pursue guardianship, and that there would be no end to doctors, tests, case managers, etc. that would support the fact that Rojo will be "incompetent" as an adult when it comes to making his own health care and financial decisions (not to mention that he can't brush his own teeth or tie his shoes). Last night we got sold on the idea of having Rojo sign over a number of Powers of Attorney to us, upon turning 18. Apparently, that requires a whole lot less hoopla and expense, both initially, and forever more.

Rojo would need to be able to sign his name and agree that yes, we as his parents could help him as an adult. The attorney and notary present would have to decide that he was not under duress to agree. A "yea" would suffice, and a "signature" could be his all-printt, all-cap, giant handwriting that would never in a million years fit upon a signature line. We thought we had that one in the bag. When we got home from the meeting STM in a very round-about way asked Rojo if we could help him when he turns 18. Thinking for sure he would say yes, he surprised us by saying, emphatically, "No! You can't help me! I don't need any help! I will be married! My wife, my ex-wife and my kids will help me!

Where do I begin? With the ex-wife? With his adamant intention to have children? With his idea that his kids will help him, not the other way around? STM assures me that when the time comes, we can get him to jump through the hoops. I am not so sure.

4 comments: said...

The ex-wife is an interesting twist to his plan.

Not a mark on him.

kario said...

Yikes! I tend to agree with you that he might be a tougher sell than STM thinks. That said, you do know his soft spots. Maybe if you exchanged a lifetime supply of froyo and trips to Target to obsess over the item du jour, he will sign.

Good luck.
Much love.

Kim said...

The ex-wife slays me. Never a dull moment! I wonder if it would help to talk about different ways you can look at the idea of "help."

Amber said...

" my wife, my ex-wife..." Have to admit that made me snort/giggle a little. What the heck? ;)

Just talk to him about helping, UNTIL he gets married...reasonable. Don't worry.