Friday, October 7, 2011

College



It is October 7th and on my desk is a huge pile of stuff for Woohoo's graduation in eight months, and that's not just because I'm neurotic.

By October 18th we need to submit our order for all things graduation related: cap and gown, announcements. There are senior pictures to select for the yearbook, and we need to dig out the baby pictures and pick one of those, too. College Night was last night, and now is the time to get all the recommendations in, finish up that essay, submit applications left and right, visit colleges, etc...

One of my oldest and dearest friends, Ruth, has a daughter just a year older than Woohoo. She said last December to me, and I've thought of this a million times, "Just call me next year and scream - I'll know it's you."

AHHHHHHH!!!

First of all, there are the 1,001 details that all need to get done really soon, not to mention the fact we have to figure out how we're even going to pay for college, but how is it possible that I my little girl is going off to college in ten months? HOW? I'm still driving the same car that took her to preschool, doesn't that automatically make her little? Will that car, indeed, drive her off to college? Probably. Where have the years gone?

Between a part-time job, a boyfriend, three AP classes and all this college stuff, she is BUSY. Already we hardly see her, which I guess is part of the natural order of things - by the time she actually leaves, it will be less dramatic, less painful, less upsetting, but nonetheless, just as poignant.

Adding to the poignancy is the fact that we're only doing this once. Rojo will not be taking and retaking the SATs and the ACTs. He will not be filling out applications. He will not need a roommate and a meal plan. We know, as we pass through this milestone year, it will be the only time that we do.

And that is the good news, because my old friend Anxiety, cannot do this twice.

And that is the bad news, because my old friend, Anxiety, is stressing already about What's Next for Rojo Instead.

Had our support group meeting at my house this morning. We talked about how we all struggle to enjoy the highs, fearing the lows. When things are even with our kids, when they are happy, in the right schools, have friends, healthy in all ways, we spend that time worrying about when they aren't, instead of celebrating that they are.

Woohoo is going off to college in less than a year. That is to be celebrated. Although it feels like everyone I know has kids that are in college or college bound, I have to remember that that is not the real world. It is a privilege and an honor to be headed to college, not the norm.

So, instead of screaming, instead of complaining, instead of worrying, instead of every other lower vibrational emotion or reaction, I am going to count my many blessings, not the least of which is I have a daughter that will be ready for college and gets to go.

Photo from http://blog.syracuse.com/college

4 comments:

fullsoulahead.com said...

Love.

Dee said...

Rejoicing in the now and the triumphs makes so much sense. It's a living-in-the-moment thing. Mindfulness at its best.

Thank you for sharing this story. It makes me realize that all too often I worry about what might be instead of rejoicing in what is.

Peace.

Amber said...

Oh my friend, what I would have given to have had such a mother when I was headed to college! Anxiety or not-- you are sending her and helping her be ready, and what a huge gift that is. Try to breathe and slow yourself where you can, and enjoy the time. And know what a good, good mom you are.

oxox :)

kario said...

Ditto Michelle.

To all of you.