I think we all think - at least I know I do - that if we surrender, our lives will get worse, not better. We believe that our fear of bad things happening is what's keeping them from happening, and that we have some mind control over bad things happening, and to surrender that mind control will open up the flood gets and let all kinds of hellish things in. Don't we think that?
I know that growing up I was repeatedly told to surrender my life to Jesus. No way was I doing that. I knew the minute I let him take over he'd "make" me a nun, and I wanted no part of being a nun. Never mind that we weren't Catholic (anti-Catholic, in fact), never mind that I had wonderful nuns as teachers in high school and they seemed happy in every way imaginable, never mind that now I fantasize about life in a nunnery. Never mind. No way was I letting go and surrendering to God's will.
Every morning I draw an angel card and then meditate on it for as long as my monkey mind allows me to before I cart it back again. Naturally, in the time since reading about the three Ascension Attitudes I've drawn the Surrender card at least 50% of the time. "Quiet" Mary.
Today I drew the thing again. I always go to the book and read the corresponding information, and since I've read that flippin' page a million times lately, I practically know it by heart. However, today I read words I hadn't digested before: "Deep surrender opens the connection with your Eternal Self which is your personalized manifestation of an important aspect of God."
By surrendering, we are able to manifest in us, aspects of GOD.
Not enough can really be made of that.
8 comments:
NECBM. Uncle....
I am on Day 11 of a 40-day period of surrender. I call it Zimbabwe. (Zimbabwe 2.0, actually.)
When I was baptized at 14, I wanted to surrender my life, but I was afraid if I did that God would send me to Zimbabwe and make me live in a dirt-floor and spread the Gospel. Well, I wasn't going to have any of that. I didn't feel I could trust God - what did HE know about my life? (!)
In Jan. 2010, I did my first 40-day surrender experience (Zimbabwe 1.0), surrendering anything and everything - and the results were just absolutely incredible. I had "tried" for 7 years to put a book of essays together. After Zimbabwe ended in March 2010, two days later, I was given the answers I needed - I knew exactly how to proceed. I self-published my book and sales have stunned me.
A couple weeks ago, I decided it was time for another 40 days of surrender. So I'm at it again.
Surrender - it's the way to live. It's unbelievable the things that open up. Opportunities and allies appear.
Surrender is the way.
This is lovely, Carrie! Thank you for bringing these notions to light. I am off to think and think and ponder about surrender.
BTW, I keep wondering how long it will be before you start saying, "Quiet, Mary!"
;-)
Love.
xo
MO'N
yeah,
I've come around to the surrender part at long last .
Holy shit.
You're on a roll.
Holy roller.
You've expressed this perennial challenge perfectly. I love that Mary continues to speak to you so clearly in the quiet.
Indeed not.
Boy, are we ever two fish in a bowl! Sometimes it just makes me laugh!!!
:)
Post a Comment