Monday, November 26, 2012

Waiting

Where to start? Let's start with the fact that Mercury goes direct today, and this particular turn in retrograde kicked my *&% like none other. Small things, like two different people trying to text me, and instead, texting STM. Weirdly, neither had his number in their contacts, and obviously were not intending to text him. So why did he get them? Then how about me trying to print address labels for Christmas cards, and the printer printing only the top half of each page? EACH page! But the biggest show of Mercury's strength came in the form of my printed proof of my book. A small disaster, to say the least. One million (slight exaggeration, really more like a thousand) typos, omissions and just outright errors. The book has been proofed, edited, proofed, edited, proofed, edited, over and over and over again. I almost didn't even proof it this "last" time, but "fortunately," did.

I honestly don't know what the Universe is trying to tell me about the book, but one thing seems to be clear: slow down. I was all about getting it out in 2012. I was all about getting it out before I turn 50. I was, let's just be honest here, ALL ABOUT GETTING IT OUT. PERIOD. I feel like I've been pregnant with this "baby" for years and years and am so sick of waddling around with it, I just want it OUT.

Apparently, its gestational time is not yet up.

And I'm forced to ask myself the bigger question, is this a brick to the head? Is it simply, not meant to be "out?" As my cousin pointed out, it was important to write, but maybe it's not important to publish. I puff up my ego thinking the book will be of benefit to others, but really? And at what cost?

And so I sit with the question while I go ahead and tediously correct the errors in the Word doc., before deciding if I really want to upload it one more time and have it out. Maybe, being pregnant was and is the point. Maybe, birth is not.


3 comments:

Elizabeth said...

Oh, how frustrating. I would go nuts thinking about that -- whether or not to publish. I have faith, though, that answers will come to you and that we, your readers, will be out here patiently waiting. Sending love and peace --

fullsoulahead.com said...

Love.

I have all faith you'll figure out what to do, all in perfect time.

kario said...

The post I read right before this one was literally about labor and pooping. Yes, that ugly phenomenon that occurs from time to time as a woman pushes her baby out. (Stay with me here). Part of it was talking about the fact that the bacteria in the poop may actually serve an important role in helping the newborn develop a strong, healthy immune system.

I know there's an important message in there for you as you 'birth' this baby. Maybe the poop is all part of it ;-)