Saturday, December 31, 2011


STM and I celebrate 20 years of wedded bliss today. Twenty. Years. That's a lot, don't you think? Feels like it to us, too. And that's why we went to Hawaii, because it is a lot. We're proud of ourselves, and without over-sharing, I'll just say, we should be.

Without a doubt, one of the best moves we ever made, was going through RCIA together, with Kathleen and her husband Jerry as our sponsors, and then joining the Church. It's not because it's Catholic. It's not because it's Christian. It's because it's an active, vital, loving, supportive community, right in our own backyard. It's our Cheers - a place where everyone knows our name, knows our story, loves and accepts us and supports us on our journey.

Say what you want about the Catholics (and I've said it all, and some of it I continue to say, so go ahead), but they revere marriage, and I think that's a good thing. There is much to support the institution inherent in the Church - again, a good thing. STM and I decided to milk some of that goodness yesterday, when we received a blessing from our priest, following the daily morning Mass. We had wanted to mark our 20th in some spiritual way, and asked the priest if he'd perform a blessing. We found a day that worked for everyone, and STM and I went to 8:00 AM Mass yesterday, surrounded by the holy elders, and basked in their goodness and wisdom. After they all cleared out, three of our favorite humans, all of whom happen to work at the Parish Center, stayed behind. Because they know of my love for Mary, we moved over to a beautiful statue of her, prayer candles aflame below her feet, and the priest performed a beautiful blessing, complete with a "You may kiss the bride," at the end.

The blessing came straight from the Book of Blessings, and it used the word "fidelity" several times. Both STM and I noticed, and talked about it later. Kathleen and I even dissected the word on our walk later that day. "Of course we have fidelity," I said, "we certainly don't have infidelity!" But I realized even as I was boasting, that just because we don't have that kind of infidelity, doesn't mean we both can't clean up our acts. Merriam-Webster defines fidelity as the quality or state of being faithful. Faithful - full of faith.

Isn't that, indeed, what a marriage needs to survive? Doesn't it need to be full of faith? Faith in each other? Faith in ourselves? And faith in something greater than ourselves?

* Photo from

7 comments: said...

Faith in each other? Faith in ourselves? And faith in something greater than ourselves?

Yep. That is the recipe.

Congrats on twenty years!

Wanda said...

And faith that whatever it is that we've just stepped will pass!

Happy anniversary to you and STM. May you have 20 more beautiful years and 20 more after that.

"You may kiss the bride..." made me tear up. Oh, yes. It did.


Elizabeth said...

I so admire your faith. Congratulations on your twenty years -- what a thing of great beauty AND faith.

LauraX said...

May the blessings continue as your love grows year after beloved and I will be married 24 years in parents 58...true love is a work of heArt...and yes faith too.

Galen Pearl said...

Lovely post. And congratulations on your anniversary. So glad I found your blog. I look forward to reading more.

Leslie at SugarAndSpiceADK. said...

SO very proud of you and STM---20 years in this day and age is nuttin' to sneeze at! Our 25th is this summer, and so is BOTH of our parent's 50th. Long live happy marriages!

kario said...

Congratulations, guys!

I love that you are both so mindful and present in your relationship. I know it is hard to do that and there are ebb and flow times in every partnership, but I agree that faith is what it takes to sustain some of those harder times. Glad you found it together.