Wednesday, December 11, 2013

The Look

Wil at 2 months old

When I met recently with the director of the developmental health organization, we talked about "the look."

"There was a look Wil had in his eyes (besides the strabismus) that should have tipped off the doctor that something wasn't right. He was discombobulated-looking, I can see it so clearly now in pictures."

"There is a look," she said, "we know that now. We're training doctors to recognize it. Obviously, the earlier a disorder is recognized and treated, the better."


I'm trying not to let fresh outrage take over, and chalk it up to que sera, sera. But it's hard. Had our doctor seen "the look," I would have welcomed his concern. I realize not all parents of infants want to be told "there's a look," but when a parent comes in with a laundry list of complaints/symptoms, and has "the look" and is still not taken seriously, well... then memoirs are written.

I've occasionally seen pictures of kids, or held a baby and wondered if what I'm seeing is "the look." I don't know quite what to do in those situations. I don't want to be an alarmist. I don't want to force anyone to deal with anything they're not ready to deal with. And I don't want to be wrong. I haven't resolved this conundrum, but what I'm leaning, is to ask leading questions when given the opportunity, and see just where that does indeed lead, if anywhere.

And if it does lead any "where," I hope that is to a place of answers, reassurance, and hope.


kario said...

Ooh, this is a tough one. But if anyone can handle it with grace and love, it's you. I have faith in that.


Well said! Hope going forward you find answers easier to come by.
You seem to be the best mom in the whole universe to be taking such good care of Wil.
Know that I pray for you and your family and wish you a great holiday.
Blessings, Barb said...

Such a tough thing when as an experienced parent you recognize something is up, but aren't sure the parents are ready to hear it. I think your "leading question" plan is a good one. They'll let you know by their reaction if it's time to back off.

Tanya Savko said...

There is "a look." (And not ironically, baby Nigel had a Big Bird, albeit smaller : ) When my now-4-yr-old nephew was around 3 months old, I thought I saw "the look." I decided to wait though, and it turned out he does not have an ASD, however he does exhibit signs of severe anxiety and OCD. I sort of felt like an airport security dog when that news broke.