A Cure to Loneliness

I've been working on this post for two days. That is to say, I've opened it up and tried to type, but was interrupted for any number of reasons--most having to do with "finding fugitives." Wil has been obsessed with "Dog the Bounty Hunter" for years, and he's turned it into a game. During this time of confinement, he's been going on walks with one of us. It's great, he walks fast and is getting much-needed exercise. The downside is the walks are--shockingly--driven by something as random as finding four Hummers (fugitives). When three, but not four are found, there is no peace. Fortunately, there are several models of cars he's willing to call a "Hummer," but sometimes when OCD is particularly pronounced, we have to not only find one, but in a particular color. Drove 15 miles and walked three times yesterday, looking for a "burgundy red" one, to no avail. 

He's lonely. He misses church, work, going to the mall, seeing his friends, going to restaurants. No amount of Hummers are going to replace what's been taken away.

I often listen to podcasts as I putter around my house. I love Brené Brown's new podcast, Unlocking Us. What I loved about her interview with Dr. Vivek Murthy, on loneliness and connection, was their conversation around the disconnect with those that don't share our opinions, values, and beliefs, which creates its own sense of loneliness.

The tendency is to vilify, name-call, blame and dismiss those with differing opinions. As Peggy Noonan says in her great article, What Comes After the Coronavirus Storm? "... we’re too quick to categorize, and ungenerous in our categorizations. Everybody isn’t only the role they’re playing at the moment."

During one of our walks we stopped and visited with my 93-year-old neighbor who was working in her yard. We asked her if she needed anything? Could we do anything for her? "Oh, honey, no, we have everything we need," she answered, then went on to compare these times to WWII, and her high school years being "war-torn."  "I just pray this brings us all together--helps to unite our country and world. We need that so badly," she said. 

Many of us are experiencing unprecedented loneliness. Let's unify in unprecedented ways. Let's have unprecedented amounts of empathy and understanding for one another. 

It feels as though the Universe has sent us all to our rooms to think about our behavior. We can't come out until we're ready to be kind.